The Cowboy Next Door--Includes a bonus novella Page 34

  But what if Cash was right? What if she kept choosing guys she knew wouldn’t be forever guys because that was what kept her safe from having to commit and get hurt?

  Despite how amazing the other night was—how being with him was unlike being with any other man she’d been with before—wasn’t she still doing the same thing by choosing a man she couldn’t commit to because he lived over two hundred miles away?

  She climbed into the truck, her heart suddenly heavy. Here she thought she was finally doing something different, but despite how she felt about Cash—and oh, there were feelings—his life was here, and hers was not.

  As soon as she settled in her seat, Dixie gave her a wet kiss on the back of her palm. Olivia laughed hard, and with it some of that weight on her chest dissipated.

  “She give you a proper welcome?” Cash asked when he settled into the driver’s seat.

  Olivia nodded. “I’ve been properly welcomed by both of you this morning, so thank you very much.”

  He leaned over and kissed her again. “I plan on welcoming you a few more times today, if that’s okay with you.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” she said, sneaking one more sweet kiss. “It’s very okay with me.”

  The ride to the farmers market was long enough to warrant turning on the radio, which made Olivia thankful she didn’t have to fill the silence with all her talking. For once, she just wanted to be. So she let country music take up the space between them as they got closer and closer to finding the letters.

  “You wanna grab lunch first?” he asked.

  “Yes!” she answered with a little too much vigor. The truth was, now that they were here, she was terrified of finding what she’d come for—and terrified of the letters being lost for good. Lunch was the perfect distraction.

  “Good,” he said. “I know just the place.”

  The three of them—Olivia, Cash, and Dixie, strolled through the rows of market stalls. Finally Cash pointed up ahead.

  “There it is,” he said, and she followed his gaze to what was no more than a food cart. A one-type-of-food cart.

  “Corn dogs?” she asked. Not that she had anything against the popular carnival delicacy. But they were at a farmers market. It seemed—wrong.

  “Corn dogs,” he confirmed. “The best you ever had, made with cornmeal sourced from a local farm and most likely some sort of illegal secret ingredient that keeps patrons coming back week after week.”

  She eyed him in his sexy uniform, then narrowed her gaze. “Does a woman work the corn dog cart?” she asked.

  He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure. Haven’t been in a while. Might be.”

  Olivia placed her hands on her hips. “Sheriff Cash Hawkins, does the pretty girl at the corn dog cart give you free food because you’re a tall, dark, and devastatingly gorgeous officer of the law?”

  Dixie barked, and Olivia nodded emphatically.

  “See? Even your longtime friend agrees that flirting for food is very unbecoming of a sheriff.”

  A vendor walked by with a basket of Calla lilies. “Flower for the pretty lady, Sheriff?” he asked Cash.

  Olivia blushed and smiled at the young man, who couldn’t have been much older than eighteen.

  “Sure,” Cash said. “How much?”

  Olivia waved her hand. “Oh, it’s okay. I don’t need—”

  “For such a beautiful woman,” the guy said, “it’s on the house. Just—uh—don’t tell my employer over there at the florist stand, okay?” He nodded back toward the way they’d come, then pulled a lily from his basket and handed it to Olivia with a wink.

  “Thank you,” she said as he backed away.

  Cash cleared his throat and then smugly raised a brow.

  “What?” she asked.

  Dixie barked.

  “Looks like my longtime friend is calling bullshit on you, Olivia Belle.”

  She groaned. “It’s not like I come here weekly to score a free lunch or anything.” She squinted toward the corn dog cart. “Wait, speaking of lilies…isn’t that Lily Green and Luke Everett?”

  Cash turned his head back toward the corn dog cart, and as soon as he did Lily seemed to glance in their direction.

  “Hide!” Olivia said, grabbing Cash by the wrist and pulling him behind the side of a tent where a couple was selling soaps and lotions.

  Dixie barked again.

  “Shh!” Olivia said. “Come here, girl!”

  She was more than a little surprised when the dog obeyed, and she grinned with satisfaction.

  “What in the hell are we doing?” Cash asked. “Why wouldn’t we just go and say hello?”

  Olivia shushed him, too, and he raised a brow.

  “Oh, stop, Sheriff. I’m not afraid of you.” It was only a half-truth. She wasn’t scared of being ticketed, arrested, or possibly thrown in jail. But there was the whole issue of how her heart hadn’t quite returned to its regularly scheduled rhythm since Wednesday night. That was more frightening than anything she’d experienced to date. Including being thrown from that horse in middle school.

  “Remember what I said about the sexual tension between those two?” she asked.

  His brows pulled together. “Lily and Luke? I told you. He’s her ex-husband’s friend. There are certain rules when it comes to that stuff. Plus, they can’t stand each other. I’ve seen ’em go at it—bickering and arguing about who knows what.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Lily and Luke. I’m telling you there is something going on between those two, and saying hello is not going to do them any favors.”

  “So we’re just going to hide out back here until…”

  Olivia tiptoed to the back of the tent where she could sneak a peek at the food cart in order to check her theory.

  She gasped.

  “What’s the matter?” Cash asked, rounding the corner.

  “Nothing,” she said. “But I rest my case.”

  She turned Cash’s attention to where Luke and Lily were still standing in front of the food cart—doing something that looked an awful lot like kissing.

  “Aw, hell,” he said. “Nothing good is going to come of that.”

  Olivia licked her lips, thinking of the last time she’d experienced a kiss as steamy and romantic as the one Luke and Lily were basically broadcasting for all to see. At least it looked steamy and romantic from several yards away. Based on whatever she saw simmering between them in the Everett kitchen, she didn’t doubt being right. As far as the last time she’d had a kiss to rival theirs? It had been with Cash.

  He wrapped his hand around her wrist now, gently tugging her with one hand and Dixie’s leash with the other, until they’d made it at least a hundred feet in the other direction.

  “What in the hell are we doing now?” she asked, parroting his words.

  “That’s none of our business,” he said. “Whatever’s going on between them is none of our damned business—and now I have to find us somewhere else to eat because who knows how long they’ll be there doing—what they’re doing.”

  Olivia was still hungry. But it was no longer for food. “Do you wish we were doing what they’re doing?” she asked, giving her lily an innocent sniff.

  “Jesus, Olivia,” he said.

  “What?”

  “I thought we came here to find your letters.”

  She took a step closer. “We did, but I thought you said you’d planned on giving me plenty of proper welcomes today.”

  He shook his head and chuckled. “I did say that. Didn’t I?” Then he slid his fingers under her hair, cradling her neck.

  Goose bumps peppered her skin. Her breath quickened, and her heart felt like it was beating double time. What was it with this man? A week ago she hadn’t even known him, and she’d been doing just fine without his presence in her life—if you didn’t count fleeing a wedding where you were a bridesmaid and the bride’s brother had just proposed to you.

  Other than that, Olivia Belle was just fine without Cash Hawkins in her life. But w
hat if just fine wasn’t enough anymore?

  The second his mouth touched hers, it was as if her whole being woke up from a long sleep. She pressed her palms to his chest and swore his heart was doing the same thing as hers. When her tongue slipped past his lips, she grabbed on to his shirt, fingers grappling at his collar as the kiss grew from sweet to something so much more.

  Then as quickly as the kiss began, Cash let her go and backed away.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just—”

  “You’re in uniform,” she interrupted. “And we’re in public. It’s not professional. I’m the one who should apologize.”

  Dixie tugged at her leash.

  “She can see the dog treat stand,” he said with a soft laugh. But Olivia could tell it was forced. Something was up, and it was more than just professionalism.

  “Everything okay, Sheriff?” she asked.

  He nodded, then pulled his sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and threw them on, effectively hiding from her any trace of emotion.

  “Let’s get Dixie a treat,” he said. “Then we’ll find what we came here for.”

  He was quiet while Dixie enjoyed her grain-free pumpkin biscuits and while she gnawed on her sweet potato slices. Conversation was like pulling teeth when they finally settled on roasted corn on the cob as their so-called lunch, since neither was too keen on checking out the corn dog stand again.

  Dixie lay on the ground beside their picnic table while she and Cash avoided eye contact as they ate.

  Well, she kept trying to gain his visual attention, but he seemed plenty taken by his corn.

  “What in the world is going on?” she finally asked.

  He stood, dropped his plate and napkin into the trash and the stripped cob into the compost bin.

  She rose and did the same, then crossed her arms waiting for him to answer.

  “Cash Hawkins,” she said. “Is kissing me so terrible that you can’t even stand to talk to me anymore?” Because the way she’d seen it, that very first kiss the day he’d arrested her had been the start of something in her she couldn’t quite name, so how in the hell could it have been the end of something for him?

  “It’s not terrible at all,” he said flatly. “I just think we might be losing sight of the agenda. You came to Oak Bluff to find something, and it wasn’t there. So here we are, chasing down your answers, and I think we should stick to the plan, is all.” He picked up Dixie’s leash from the grass. “Come on, girl.”

  The dog looked up from where she was still enjoying what was left of her sweet potato treat and whimpered.

  “Dixie…” he said with a little more force.

  She rose slowly, the treat hanging from between her teeth.

  “Sure,” he said. “Bring it with you.”

  Her ears perked up.

  Olivia grabbed the rest of Dixie’s goodies and followed Cash as he started walking.

  “Her stall is usually in the second row,” he said.

  “Cash.”

  “Just keep in mind it’s been a lot of years since the house was remodeled into a retail space and apartment. She might not have any clue what in the hell we’re talking about.”

  “Cash,” she said again.

  “What I’m saying is that you should prepare yourself—for whatever we may or may not find.”

  She was having trouble matching his gait, so she was now a few paces behind. “Damn it, Cash Hawkins, will you shut the hell up about the letters and just talk to me?”

  He stopped suddenly, turning to face her, and she plowed right into his solid wall of chest.

  She groaned. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

  “I’m in love with you, Olivia!” he snapped.

  Her eyes widened to saucers, and her jaw fell open. Passersby slowed at his very vocal declaration, and Olivia shooed them away.

  She pulled his aviators from his face so she could see his eyes. His gaze, always so steady, was now a raging sea of emotions she didn’t recognize on him.

  “You’re…what?” was all she could seem to muster.

  “I’m in love with you, damn it. And I don’t need a pile of letters to tell me if what I feel is real or if I’m doing it right. Because there is no right. There’s just me fooling myself into thinking I could avoid getting my heart stomped on again and you, blowing into town, messing up the status quo, and then leaving.”

  She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “Cash, I—”

  “There,” he said, pointing. “Cora’s Collectibles. That’s our spot.”

  He strode in the direction of the stall, Dixie at his side.

  “So you’re just going to drop a bomb like that and walk away?” she asked, scrambling to catch up. “Don’t you even want to hear what I have to say?”

  He stopped and blew out a long breath. He looked so—tired.

  “What happened to us getting through this week and figuring it out?” she asked. “Wasn’t it you who said that San Francisco and Oak Bluff aren’t opposite ends of the earth?”

  He scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “You are leaving tomorrow, right?”

  “Well…yeah. I have to work on Monday.”

  “And when do you think you’ll be headed back this way?”

  Her brows furrowed as she flipped through her mental calendar. “Well, I have the Goldman bar mitzvah on Saturday and a baby shower brunch on Sunday…The next weekend there is that small dental convention…”

  “That’s what I thought,” he said.

  “Hey,” she said. “That’s not fair. It’s my job.” A job she wondered if she’d still have on Monday. After all, she did run out on the hotel owners’ son, which—though having nothing to do with her professional qualifications—could possibly cause some friction at work.

  “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I just—I wasn’t counting on you, Olivia. And now I’m not sure how to make heads or tails of all this.”

  “Cash Hawkins? It is you! Get on over here and say hello!”

  They both glanced over Cash’s shoulder to find an older woman—presumably Cora of Cora’s Collectibles—calling him as she stood in front of her stall.

  So that was that. The end of their conversation for now, and she still hadn’t addressed the elephant in the farmers market.

  He loved her.

  “Mrs. Abbott!” he said with a wave and what she recognized as his “for the public” smile.

  Cora scoffed as they walked over. “You’re not in high school anymore. I think you can call me Cora.” She looked over the frames of her glasses. “And it looks like I need to start calling you Sheriff. Has it really been that long since you came here with Lucinda?”

  She reached up to hug him, her short white hair and petite frame reminding Olivia of Gran and of why she’d come to Oak Bluff in the first place. Because she’d been starting to lose focus.

  “Been a little more than ten years,” he said. “But you still see Lucinda from time to time, don’t you?”

  “I sure do. About once a month.” She frowned. “So sorry to hear about your stepdaddy.”

  “Thank you,” Cash said; then he checked his watch. “I was wondering if I could ask you a business-related question. It’s kind of why we’re here.”

  Cora’s blue eyes brightened. “You mean you’re actually here to see me? Well, that is a treat. What can I do for you two?”

  Cash put his hand on the small of Olivia’s back, and she sucked in a breath.

  “This is Olivia Belle. Olivia—Cora Abbott of Cora’s Collectibles.”

  Olivia extended her hand to shake, but Cora just pulled her into a hug, too.

  “Oh!” Olivia said, then laughed. “It’s—nice to meet you.”

  She cupped Olivia’s cheeks in her palms. “Aren’t you a pretty one. And where do I know that name—Belle?”

  “My grandfather,” Olivia said, her voice suddenly a bit shaky. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt like she was on the verge of something. “He wasn’t from
around here. My gran was, though. Oak Bluff, actually.”

  Cora slapped her knee. “Anna Moretti!” she exclaimed. “Married that boy who went off to war. His name was Belle.”

  “Holy hell,” Cash said.

  “Oh my God,” Olivia added. “I didn’t expect you to know them. I just thought you might have their letters.”

  Cora laughed. “Know them, sweetie? Your gran and I were in school together. Lost touch after she and your grandpa ran off and got married, though. And letters? What letters?”

  Olivia’s heart had just begun soaring to new heights when four words—four words—sent her heart and her hope on a collision course with the ground.

  Her throat tightened, and her eyes started to burn.

  “Damn it,” Cash said under his breath. “I’m sorry, Olivia.”

  Cora put her hand on Olivia’s arm. “What letters, dear?”

  Olivia drew in a shaky breath. “Their whole courtship was letters,” she explained. “They had this one magical night together before he left for the war. But he courted her for years via his letters, and she gave him something to come home to with hers. When he got home, he gave her back the letters she’d written that he’d been able to save, and she kept them safe beneath a floorboard in her bedroom when they eloped.”

  Cora’s eyes widened. “And then she never went back for them?”

  “Said she didn’t need to once she had him.” Olivia shook her head and swiped at a tear. “I know it’s silly to react like this over something that was never mine to begin with, but…”

  Cora gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I bet it would be a great love story for you to read. But if I’d have come across that sort of treasure, I never would have sold it. Though I’m not sure I’d have read them, either.”

  “Why not?” Olivia asked with a sniffle.

  Cora opened her mouth to respond, but Cash cut her off.

  “Because it’s their story,” he said. “It’s theirs and no one else’s, which means whatever worked for them in their time and place could have only ever worked for them.”

  His voice was gentle, but Olivia’s sense of loss was slowly morphing into anger. Because who was Cash Hawkins to tell her there were no answers in those letters?